I Love You, Spencer Carlin
by Inmyownwords92
Summary: So This is my spashlyfied version of I Love You, Beth Cooper. Its basically like the movie but i changed a few things up and add my own little twist. I hope you guys enjoy it...read and review plz!
1. You Did What?

So yes the Idea is totally taken from the movie I Love You Beth Cooper. I don't own it thought it would make a great Spashley story. Enjoy, rate, comment! xoxoxo

The whole student body of King High sat, bored might I add, most of them drooling on their gowns as Angelica sang. It was a nice song but too mellow and was putting everyone to sleep. The graduation ceremony was dragging on and on and I was about ready to get out of this dreadful shit hole. I chanced a look around the auditorium, as I fidgeted in my seat, at the rest of my classmates and I swear I saw Fred Bailey picking his nose and making cartoon characters out of them he was so bored. Angelica's song continued on and drowning her out, I went back to the silent nervousness that started to bubble up in my stomach. I was next to give my speech and boy was it going to be a killer one. I mean come on it is coming from The Ashley Davies. Although this is a fact, I was still shitting bricks. Why? You might ask? Well lets go back a few days earlier...

Flashback:

"_Jesus Ashley you will never see this girl again...NUNCA!" My best friend Carmen said rather loudly from the other side of the stacks as we roamed aimlessly around the library. She came around to my side with a rather exasperated look on her face. She sat the book that her and I both knew her meat head had no intentions of reading back on the shelf_

"_Dude seriously after graduation she'll be gone til...like the tenth reunion...that is if you both even live that long. And trust me she'll be.." She paused, her eyes going wide and blew out her breath, "She'll be so very pregnant by then, baking someone else DNA and she'll have this like big pregnant cow grin on her face. She wont even remember who you are." Yea way to cheer a sister up Carmen, I thought as I flipped through the book I picked up off the shelf. It was the autobiography of Justin Beiber. I seriously did not think they lent out that kind of shit in our library._

"_Gee thanks Carmen," I said as I threw the book back on the shelf. "All have you know I've sat behind her in almost every class." I say this with dignity because to tell you the truth i'm proud of it._

"_Behind Her!" Carmen yells so loudly that various librarians shush her. She just rolled her eyes and continued to bring my spirit down...bitch. Carmen grabs me by the arm and we begin to move down the aisle of the stacks._

" _Behind her...she never saw you dude. If you don't give this big speech at graduation...you dont exist." she said with a serious look on her face and I rolled my eyes while sighing at the same time. She was being ridiculous I mean there's no way that she can not not know who I am. I may not be ms. Popular but I definitely was sue storm...though sue storm is hot...well Jessica Alba playing her is hot. Carmen continued on with her rant._

"_If you don't do this Ash, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life." Carmen said in this retarded voice and I swear the look on my face asked "are you a fucking retard?" She grinned as if I spoke her alien language. I cut my eyes at her and hit her in the head with the book she was holding, hoping it would knock some sense into the peas she had rattling around in that head of hers for brains._

"_Carmen...what the fuck are you talking about?" I asked as she glared at me. Carmen rubbed her head._

"_Come on its Casa Blanca, 1942 Michael Kurt Dees Director...Bogart Dude!" yeah that was people shushing her retarded ass again. I shook my head at her._

"_You know if you actually used your brain for gaining useful knowledge and not those asinine facts about movies you might be able to make something out of yourself." I said as I began to walk down the aisle of the library. Even though Carmen made no sense sometimes I think this time and shoot me for saying this...she was right. I had to go big or go home come graduation._

As Angelica sang the last few bars of her song, my nervousness went into overdrive. I was next and this speech could make or break me. My hands were starting to sweat and get all clammy and I just know that right now the expression on my face is one of scared shitlessness...if that's even a word. Angelica finished and everyone clapped for her except me. I was having the slight problem remembering the basics of motor functions at the moment. The principal then came up on the stage very unenthusiastically.

"Thank you Angelica" the principal began but before she could finish she was cut off by Angelica.

"Its Angalica" she said rather harshly. I almost laughed just for the soul fact that she would want to call herself Angalica. Beats the hell out of me. The principal corrected herself and Angalica went and took her place with the rest of the graduating class.

"Thank you for that rousing rendition of...forget me." I swear every time this woman talked her voice was laced with slight sarcasm. One time she told me that I was going to fail in life...I don't think she was using sarcasm that time. She continued to drone on.

"Next and finally...your valedictorian Ashley Davies." Why yes that was the sound of her teeth grinding as she said my name. I rose from my seat as people clapped and the urge to just puke all over that podium and the principals attire was strong. I saw my parents in the crowd with a camera and I winced. Oh yea your gonna wanna get this on tape. The clapping died down and I cleared my throat before I began to speak...there's no turning back now.

"Today we look forward...look forward to getting out of here..." I said trying to joke but really it just came off very lame and nerdy. No one laughed except my parents and a few other people. Everyone else just stared. I giggled nervously, which is a bad habit and continued on.

"But today I would also like to look back...look back on our four year here at King high school. Looking back not with anger but with no regrets." I looked down at my paper then back at the audience.

"No regrets for what we wanted to do but did not, what we wanted to say but could not..." I took a big ass breath because what I WAS about to say was a shitload.

"And so I say here today, the one thing I wish I had said. the one thing I know I will regret if I never say it..." I took another shaky breath as I caught a glimpse of Carmen giving me a thumbs up and said it.

"I Love You Spencer Carlin." Yup that was me and that was me confessing my love to the Spencer Carlin, girlfriend of Aiden Dennison who could simply kick my ass because he was psycho and didn't care that I was a girl but most of all the Spencer Carlin who stole my heart 8th grade and is the girl of my dreams.


	2. Insert Foot In Mouth

Once again I don't own...read, enjoy, rate, review...the four essentials lol

After I made that statement there was a multitude of gasping and I swear the whole school, even the staff, turned there heads and looked at Spencer. She frowned then developed this look of disbelief on that pretty face of hers. Oh yea the whispers were going around like hot gossip on Lindsay lohan and her new drug addiction. I was afraid to look around but I did. My parents, well they just looked confused, others looked amused and Aiden...he just looked livid. Why stop now huh? I continued.

"I have loved you Spencer Carlin ever since I sat behind you in Ms. Rosa's math class in the 8th grade." I said with this unbelievably goofy ass grin on my face. "I loved you when I sat behind you in senior wieners Spanish class, and Mrs. Kalamethoby's literature of the oppressed. I loved you from behind..." right when I heard that sentence come out of my mouth I regretted it. I saw the staffs head turn brutally towards me that I heard them get whiplash. Everyone else giggled. "in biology, history and yes! Practical science...I loved you but I never told you because we never spoke..." by this time of my speech I was getting looks of confuse, disbelief and sheer what the fuck are you doing kid? But I couldn't stop now I had already unleashed the beast.

"But now I say it with no regrets. I love you...Spencer Carlin. And so let us all say the things that we long to say but our tongues would not, let us be unafraid to admit...I have an eating disorder and I need help" I said as I looked over at Janice Cooper-man. Jessica Brown, her best friend looked at me with wide eyes but hey when ya need help ya need help. Janice on the other hand just sat there. "Let us confess that...Im a stuck up bitch! Because deep down I believe I am worthless!" I said enthusiastically looking straight at Madison Duarte. I wasn't naming names because hey I'm no snitch buuuutt...people got the message. There was an array of gasps after that little comment and the people sitting next to Madison looked at her as she glared at me. If looks could kill the ice princesses laser beams would have shot out of that big head of hers and annihilated me. "Let us declare I'm a Big DUMB MORON..." I said discreetly Addressing the air head Glen Carlin. Yea he was Spencer's brother but it still didn't change the fact that he was a raging dickwad. "I'm a big ol' asshole who beats up on other kids because...I was unloved as a baby or was sexually abused or something." I said not knowing if that was true but a kid with that many aggressive issues had to have something traumatic happen to him. I swear if Glen could just get out of that chair right now he would pummel me until I couldn't see straight, disregard the fact that I was a girl.

"I'm sorry for the cruel swirlys, the pink bellies, the purple nurples...and let us. NO let all of us vow..." I paused for effect. "When I graduate I'm not gonna keep hanging around my old high school like some kind of creepy loser who cant get an adult girlfriend..." The look on that Ape of a mans face was priceless. I didn't care that Aiden Dennison was a psycho looney binged out on roid rage who would could cut me in my sleep, I was on a roll. "You know who you are...you." I said as I pointed at Aiden and I swear the look in his eye was murderous. I could see the veins in his big, meaty neck bulging from him trying to keep his cool. I might be dead after this speech but at least I spoke my peace. I sighed. "And yes, let us not regret that we never told our own best friend...dude I'm gay...totally gay." I said as I looked toward Carmen. The look on her face said WTF? Now no, I was not calling my best friend out because that would be wrong. I'm just reassuring her that its OK for her to be herself and tell me that she's gay. I saw her mouth the words "I'm not gay" as shock was written on her face. The fact that she thinks I wouldn't be OK with it is asinine, after all I am gay myself. I can totally recognize it in her a million miles away...shes my best friend and to reiterate it...IM GAY! "Yes...indeed let us al-" before I could even finish that sentence the principal Gleason pushed me out of the way and took over. "Thank you Ashley...food for thought...thank you." She said quickly as my graduating class and the parents of those graduates started to clap staggeringly.

"Thank you." I said into the mic once more before I was escorted off the stage. I got one look at my parents and their face held looks of sheer disbelief...yea no one expected that. Hell I didn't really even plan for all that. I just planned to confess my love to Spencer but all that pent up anger just came tumbling out and I thought 'what the hell.' Well once I was done giving my speech and the ceremony was over I ventured outside to find my parents. As I was making my way around I saw all the people, and their parents that I called out. To say they looked pissed was an understatement. I didn't make very long eye contact and kept on walking; only to have to, my very surprise, non other than principal Gleason falling in line with my strides.

"Ms. Davies," she said with a a hardness to her voice as she put her hand on my shoulder. "Hi," I said with a shaky smile on my face. Yup this was it. I knew I couldn't have lasted that long with out her wringing me a new one. "I've never know you to be so reckless...actually to ever do something this reckless." yea I guess she never found out that it was me and Carmen who set off the cherry bombs in the girls bathroom junior year. "Well thank you," I said with another one of those damn nervous giggles of mine. "Uh no, this is not what I would expect from someone who's going to UCLA," bitch she was bringing out the big guns. "You know one call from me and I can have you going to Los Angeles community college," I cut her off before she could even think about finishing whatever she was going to say next.

"Uh that would be unimaginable," I said with a little panic in my voice because I knew she had the power to royally screw my ass over. "You cant, no...look I don't know why I did-who was that?" I asked and she gave me this stupid sarcastic smile. "That, that wasn't me i-i was under an influence." I said hoping that would change her path of thinking. She frowned at me. "Ms. Davies are you drunk?" She asked and I know she could see the confusion all over my face. "What?" I asked voicing that confusion. "no, I just meant my thinking had been compromised I-" I sighed.

"Look Carmen told me-" the principal then cut me off. "Carmen Valdez?" she asked and I shook my head. "Yeah," I answered her and as I was about to begin talking again she spoke up. "Uh I wouldn't take such serious advice from Carmen Valdez." Yeah that was her busting on my best friend. I slightly frowned at her. "But she was right," I said, "I mean I had to do...something. I'm not there in her brain she would have had no memory of me." I explained and principal Gleason gave me an exasperated look then spoke up. "So what," I scoff at her reaction. "So what? Come on Dr. Gleason...you ever been in love?" I asked and regret that I did. She began to immerse herself in this dream state and I really don't even want to know what she was thinking about because she herself shuddered at the thought and then covered her chest. I looked down at her action and frowned...nope don't EVEN want to know. Dr. Gleason put her hand on my shoulder a sighed. "Ashley, there's another Spencer Carlin out there...one just for you." She said with a look of sadness on her face and then she walked away. She was wrong. There wasn't another Spencer Carlin out there. There was only this one and she was just the one that I want.

I watched her walk away, in a slight daze but as I did I caught a glimpse of Spencer with Kyla and Chelsea. I made eye contact with her and then she started to make her way over to me. As she did I looked everywhere except at her. Maybe she wouldn't notice me. No such luck there because she stopped right in front of me, hand on her hips looking sexier than ever. She had a scowl on that beautiful face of hers and to tell you the truth I was slightly intimidated. Slightly. "You embarrassed me," she said crossing her arms over her chest, managing to look even sexier than she began with. I began to stutter. "I um I-I-I-"before I could make things worse with the lack of my speaking she cut me off. "But it was so sweet that I'll have to let you live." She finished and this earned a huge ass grin from me. She could have said ice cream to me and I would still be smiling like a fool. Spencer returned my smile. "Well that's good because I like living," I said with another one of those fucking nervous giggles that I was famous for.

"Is it like eight hundred degrees in this thing? I'm boiling." She asked as she began unzipping her gown. Why yes that was the sound of my mouth going dry and my throat closing up. I managed to speak up though which would have been quite alright if I wouldn't have been able too as well. "Actually, uh the boiling point of water is 212 degrees Fahrenheit." I said as I watched her zip her gown down the rest of the way.

God I wish I was that zipper, that fucking gown. Spencer then bent over and pulled it over her head, all the while not messing up her hair. I continued to rant about water. "Uh 100 degrees Celsius..." I trailed off as a huge lumped formed in my throat at the sight of her. Spencer sighed and held the green gown in her arms. That gown was now my hero. Spencer then spoke up. "I am so hot," she said breathily and I swear I almost came at the sound of it. To add to it she ran her fingers through her golden blonde tresses and that messed me up even more. I swear to god she was doing it on purpose. "I can imagine you are, that you're hot," I replied to her comment regarding the hotness of her. Spencer smiled brightly at this and I return a nervous smile the best I could. I was actually pretty proud of myself for two reasons-one: I hadn't fainted yet due to the close proximity of all the glory that is Spencer Carlin and two: that I was making pretty good coherent sentences, disregarding the stuttering from earlier. Spencer flipped her hair, which might I add sent my libido into over drive, and as she did Carmen appeared out of thin air. The look on her face was not a happy one.

"So hey, I'm not gay dude!" She said and I looked from her to Spencer. "Carmen, hi," I said looking at Spencer once again. Finally Carmen acknowledged her presence and spoke up. "Hi, hey, hi I didn't realize there was a line" she said pointing between me and Spencer. Spencer smiled. "Uh no no that's OK. I uh I actually gotta go," She said quickly and began to walk away. Panic set in. Damn Carmen and her bad timing. I blurted out the first thing that came to mind to stop her in her tracks. "HALT!" I said rather loudly and she turned around as did half the other people standing around. Yea nice one Davies. "I mean wait," she kept walking but I caught up to her, Carmen tagging along. "There's a little soiree at my house tonight...of course that's redundant I don't know what I'm talking about," I could tell the beginnings of a ramble. I began to laugh and Carmen jumped in. "A party, more of a party than a french thing," the look Spencer was giving us was as if we were two blind kids trying to cross a street in oncoming traffic without a fucking eye dog.

This was not a proud moment. Carmen continued to speak though. "There will be music, drinks, prizes," "A party!" I blurted out and immediately felt like stabbing myself for the retardedness of it. Yes we were losing her. "That's nice," Spencer says and begins to walk away...again. I go after her once again. "That is fun...will be fun in the future." I said as she turned around to face me. She was so close I could feel her breath. "Goddammit your invited! officially" I blurted. That seemed to be the constant with me today. Carmen gave me a look that was a cross between what the hell are you doing and keep it going. Spencer let out a heavy sigh. "Wow," She began with a slight smile of amusement on her face, "thanks." I could hear Kyla and Chelsea laughing at our attempt in the background. Bitches. "Well my address is 6377 Mils-berry Dr, 401 if your map questing," I said enthusiastically. "Well maybe we'll be able to stop by," She said and hey that was good enough for me.

"Cool yea or not if you come you come if not whatever," I said trying to be nonchalant but really inside I was exploding with possibility. All of a sudden I had what little dignity I was able to save for myself of the years was ripped away from me as the medallion of my graduation gown was pulled up around my neck, I swear chocking the life out of me


	3. HelloDouchebag?

I hope you guys are enjoying the ride...yea? No? Well the update today is short because I just wanted to get something posted but my regular post days will be Monday, Wednesday, and Friday...because those days I only have one class and thats in the morning...anyways read, rate, review! XOXOXO

I began sputtering as the ape mans voice began to flow through my ears. "You humiliated me and Insulted her," he began. Aiden had no qualms about killing me, a girl, in front of everyone. He once told me that I didn't qualify as a girl in his book. Dick. I caught a glimpse at Spencer rolling her eyes at his antics. I really wish he would just kill me now so I wouldn't have to live through the after math of humiliation. "Are you prepared to die?" the dickwad asked as he took off his military hat and I took a gasping breath of air. I couldn't believe that no one was seeing this and that Carmen was just standing there watching me get pimp handled. Aiden pulled on the chain a little harder and I swear I started to see black spots. As I was slowly being suffocated I looked over at Spencer and she mouthed a 'sorry' and walked away to go join Kyla and Chelsea. Those two had a look of confusion on their face which was really rich because...he was murdering me! There's no confusion there! Carmen decided now was as best of a time as ever to speak up.

"Ah Aiden the ass that you are, you better unhand my best friend," She said which was only making the assbag pull my chain harder. He threw me, not so softly to the ground and put his foot on my throat. I swear I would die by a rabies bite in the ass from a squirrel before I let this asshole bring me to my demise. He spoke up. "Now I'm gonna give you ten seconds to convince me of why I should let u live." Aiden applied more pressure with his foot and I desperately tried to get it off of me. "Don't you mean persuade? Not convince" I asked but with his foot practically down my throat I sounded like a granny who had been smoking way too much. I could see Spencer out of the corner of my eye and she looked on at the scene apologetically. Yea that doesn't help my situation. Aiden pressed harder, which I didn't think was physically possible, as Ms. Gleason decided to finally show up. "Is there a problem here?" She asked and as Carmen tried to discreetly shake her head, internally I was rolling my eyes. No Ms. Gleason there wasn't a problem this ass monkey only had his foot crushing my wind pipe. As Ms. Gleason stood there, hands on her hips Aiden grabbed me by the shirt of my gown and pulled me up, dusting me off in the process.

"No ma'm no problem here. My hand...it just slipped" Aiden said and I swear my blood was boiling. Goddamn ass eyed douche bag. Yes I just combined the two insults together because those are really the only words that can encompass the character of this cock stain. Ms. Gleason rolled her eyes not believing it but not doing anything either...bitch. "You know I cant allow you to kill her on school property right?" She asked and I swear my eyes bulged out of my head! What the hell did she mean 'on school property? So if we were on the fucking street she'd let him beat my ass? I seriously need to find a better word for her because bitch just doesn't quite fit. "Yes ma'm." The goon replied flashing his smile and Ms. Gleason then walked away but as soon as she did I took my opportunity while Aiden was distracted. I took a cheap shop and kicked his retarded ass in his nut sack. That sent the bitch down without a moments pause...looks like he wont be the one getting Spencer pregnant any time soon. I rubbed my throat as the asshole writhed on the ground. Carmen then smacked him in his deformed head for good measure. We then distanced ourselves from the scene as Spencer and the other two loyal band of sluts followed her to help Aiden up. Carmen spoke up. "You OK?" She asked and I rolled my eyes at her. "Yeah no thanks in part to you." I said slapping her in the arm. Carmen rubbed where I had just hit her not two seconds ago. "Well look on the bright side, at least Spencer Carlin talked to you." She said, a bright smile on her face and I seriously felt like slugging her. "Yeah and get man handled in front of her too." We both looked at Spencer, Kyla, and Chelsea followed by Aiden's goon bags helping him to his car. Can we say King of Douchebagery?


	4. Nervous? Me? Hell yes!

OMG sorry for the late ass update class attacked me at the last minute had a film paper due, procrastinated you guys know how the story goes lol but once again sorry here it is, if I have time today I'll post another =] Read, Rate, Review...the four essentials lol XOXOXO

After being pimp handled and close to murdered in front of Spencer, Carmen and I decided we not be victims of more embarrassment and make our way home. As we walked down the quiet little street of our neighborhood a car full of over dramatic ass wipes sped by announcing to the entire world that we were losers. "Yea keep in touch BITCHES!" I said out loud sarcastically while giving them the finger. I swear the kids that populated King High were assholes to the max. Carmen and I continued to walk in silence until she spoke up. "So look...I'm, I'm not gay." she announces and I look over at her swiftly. I just shook my head in the positive. " yeah, sure OK. Its fine if you are though too Carm. Like seriously but OK." I said. If she wasn't ready to tell me she was gay then she wasn't ready to tell me. Who am I to force her out of the closet. Carmen looked at me skeptically, not believing that I believed that she wasn't gay. "Really Ashley I'm not gay. No soy Homo." She said laughing and I laughed along. "Alright then, that's awesome." I said trying to end the conversation but she spoke up again. "What makes you think I'm gay anyways?" She asked as I just looked at her. She gave me this face that said 'well let it out' so I did. "Hello! Big flaming homo here. I think I'd recognize a fellow family member." I said smiling at her."Plus there was that one time we did make out Carmen." I said with a smirk on my face as I vaguely remembered the scene. Carmen whipped her head towards me. "I thought you said we would never speak of that again!" She exclaimed and I laughed. "Hey I'm just saying Carm, I mean all through high school never once did you have a boyfriend." I replied as we continued walking down the the street. "Well neither did you," She tries to come back with and I look at here with a skeptical face, laughing. "Hence the gay part and if I do recall correctly...and I am, I even tried to get a boyfriend...granted he was weird and smelled like stale nacho cheese but that's besides the point." at this she started laughing. "Oh Bill Nestle? Your secret shame? Does that even qualify Ashley? I'm pretty sure me making out with a guy like him would grant me a one way ticket to gay-ville" Carmen said still laughing. "Yeah laugh it up," I said, smacking her in the arm. "My point is though, I had one." I finished.

I stopped our walking for a moment and turned to face her. I put my hand on her shoulder."Look I'm not trying to put you out there Carmen but I just want you to know that your my best friend and I don't ever want you to feel like you can't be who you are around me ok?" I said to her and she nodded her head. We continue to walk in silence until Carmen finally decides to change the subject and break it. "So what's in the bag?" She asked me, eying the present that my parents gave me for graduation. Carmen reached her hand in the bag and pulled out the box to reveal an Ipod nano. "Super Kewl," Carmen said in a geek voice as she gave it one more look over and handed it back to me. I rolled my eyes at her with a slight smile on my face. "Dude you know what I got for graduation?" Carmen asked me and I shook my head. "I got a fucking bill. Yea my old man says I owe him uh two hundred thirty-three thousand eight hundred and fifty two bucks." She says with a laugh. "A quarter of a million dollars?" I asked, my eyes bulged out of my head at that. Her dad was always an ass. "Yup and he said that includes 50 grand for wear and tear on my mother." She paused for a moment. "She is pretty worn and torn. But uh hey nothing says family love like charging your kid for living huh?" She asked as we both laughed. "Well in any case, I'm sorry your dad is such a dick dude." I said and she just shrugged her shoulders. "It was completely itemized too...very detailed. Who knew he was paying attention huh?" She finally said. I could see the hint of sadness in her eyes as she said it and it totally sucked that her dad was a raging dickwad to her.

After I dropped Carmen off at her house, I finally reached mine, which felt like a thousand and some years later. I swear it felt like I was on one of those damn elven quests for virtue or some shit like that. I wasted no time in setting things up for the party tonight. I was really hoping that Spencer would show up. I'm pretty sure she had better things to do but I still had that little inkling of hope that she would blow it off and come. I was dressed this evening in a pair of tight dark blue skinny jeans with the bleach splatter pattern to them, my light blue tank top that said Rainbows are Gay on it and a pair of black and white high-top converse on my feet. I mean I wanted to impress Spencer but I so wasn't gonna throw on a dress or skirt because I don't own one of those atrocious things. I did decide to curl my hair and throw on a little make-up but that's as far as it went. Once I finished getting myself ready I went downstairs to the kitchen to finish last minute preparations. As I was doing so, Carmen walked in. "What up Davies!" She yelled as she jumped her ass up on the counter. I swear if she spilled shit I was going to seriously hurt her. "Check it out bitch," She said pointing to her shoes. They were a fresh new pair of vans. "Two paychecks right hurr," Carmen announced as I grabbed a few drinks from the fridge and sat them on the counter. She had her feet all over the counter nearly knocking over the chip bag I had placed there not two seconds ago. I slapped her feet out of the way. "yea they're nice." I commented shortly and Carmen sighed. "Dude don't get all panicky and nervous she's not gonna come." Carmen said killing any hope I had fostered in this wee little heart of mine. Bitch.

"I'm not nervous! I'm...particular. There's a huge fucking difference." I said rather loudly as I grabbed a few more drinks from the canvas bag full of junk. "They can smell fear." Carmen said and I cut my eyes at her. "No they can't!" I replied with the urge to hit her. She wasn't helping much in the situation. "Just chill dude and you will be good. You gotta stop stressing this." I stopped what I was doing and took a deep breath. "You know you're not helping right?" I say to her and she shrugs her shoulders, swiping one of the drinks I had just sat down. I rolled my eyes at her antics, continuing to grab more food from the canvas bag. As I was doing so my parents entered the kitchen.

"Hey!" my dad greeted rather loudly, my mother trailing behind him. "Well it looks like this party is well under way." he said and queue eye roll. "Hey Mrs. D," Carmen greeted. I swear to all that is holy Carmen had a crush on my mom. Its disturbing in a way to think about that. "Hi Carmen...I told you not to call me that and get your ass off my counter." She said to her playfully and Carmen jumped off the counter, taking a seat in the bar stool below it. As my dad passed her they exchanged this elaborate handshake that made no sense at all. "Aw sweetie you look so adorable!" my mom exclaimed as I swatted her hand away from pulling my cheek off. This so was not the time Christine. "Mom stop it! Get, get away!" I said as I steadily pushed her hands away from tugging on my clothes. Carmen was having a ball just watching my mother fuss over me and the urge to hit her steadily rose. My dad finally spoke up. "Christine will you please stop fussing over her and lets go. We have a reservation to get to." He said and inside I yelled a big YES! The sooner they got ghost the sooner my embarrassment level would go down. Christine sighed. "Fine lets go, but Ashley I'm warning you...I don't want trashy tramp-hoes traipsing in and out of my house all night either, alright?" At this Carmen let out a lough laughed which earned her a death glare from me. She mouthed the words sorry as she steadily snickered in the corner. "Yes mother, now go." I said but they didn't budge. "The emergency numbers are on the fridge if any one is..." my dad quickly cut my mom off. "Dead or on fire call 911," he said and Carmen and I both laughed as my mom slapped him in the arm. "Alright then be safe honey," my mom finally said and both my parents made their way out of the house. Once they were gone I was able to breath a little easier. I made my way over to Carmen and slapped her upside that big head of hers. She should have already known it was coming. "What the hell was that for?" She asked rubbing her head. "For being an ass that's what."

I was currently sprawled out on the kitchen floor while Carmen was sitting on the counter, waiting for Spencer to show up. I kept looking at the clock and it read that a millennium had gone by. I sighed frustratedly and got up from the kitchen floor. "She should be here by now." I said and Carmen stopped her asinine interpretation of air drums and looked at me. "Dude I don't think shes coming." was all she said before she resumed her playing. I then dragged her outside with me to keep watch. Desperate? I don't think so...OK maybe just a little but don't fucking judge me. Carmen stood back on the lawn while I glanced up and down the street. Carmen voiced her negativity once again. "Um like can we go do something because its as clear as the fucking day in front of us that she or her loyal band of skankinarys aren't going to show up." I paused my Spencer watch and turned towards her. "Shut. Up." was all I said as I heard the faint sound of music. Sure enough as I did, this sweet ass all black Toyota Celica came speeding around the corner headed our way. I could hear the blaring of AC DC's If You Want Blood as the car ran up the curb and headed straight for us. "IN COMING!" I yelled as my eyes went wide and Carmen and I took off for safety towards my front porch. The car swerved and pulled into my drive way, just barely missing my fucking mailbox and my legs. Carmen and I tried to look casual as we stood on the porch, huffing and puffing but inside I was having a mini heart attack because I swear I almost just lost my life. The engine to the car cut off and out stepped beauty itself. My eyes traveled up those tan, beautiful legs that my god went on for days, made they're ways past her sexy body in that tight red dress, past her breast that were just so goddamn perfect and finally landed on her face, staring right into those pools of ocean blue. God she was the definition of beautiful...but the girl drove like a fucking crazy person!


	5. FAIL!

Spencer, Kyla, and Chelsea all exited the car and came strolling towards my porch. I swear it was like they were walking in slow motion to their own theme music. I looked towards Carmen who looked towards me and we both gulped. "The trinity," I whispered as they came to a halt in front of us in all their glory. The trinity were like King High royalty...channeling mean girls? Just a little. Carmen decided to speak up. "Chicas! So where's our big ol ape in uniform?" She asked. I glared at her and tried to discreetly nudge her. "Ugh he's on our shit list right now. One of his meat head buddies tried to get all date rapey with Kyla." Spencer said and I frowned. Well that's not good. I looked over at Kyla and the spaced out look on her face was priceless. I really think that girl doesn't have a brain in that pretty little head of hers. Its all full of fluff and clouds and sparkly things. "So where's the party!" Spencer asked with a smile on her face. I pushed off of the post I was leaning on the porch. "It's here...this is it...shall we go inside?" I asked and they all looked at each other. Psychic communication: Um should we actually enter this dweebs non existing party or should we just bounce? We all started to make our way into the house and I stopped them at the threshold. "Warning: roof may be blown off due to excessive partying." Yes. That was a totally Twix moment. I wish I had one right now so Carmen could shove them down my throat and I could choke and die on the humiliation I just caused myself. Not to self: Don't ever say anything like that EVER AGAIN!

After that comment the smile instantly wiped off all three of their faces and Carmen fell into a nervous fit of giggles. We are officially a bunch of retarded dorks. I shook my head and continued to go inside my house with the trinity and Carmen trailing behind me. Spencer looked around the house and grew a puzzled look on her face. "Uh are we the first one here?" She asked and I immediately developed that deer in head lights look. "Uhhhhhh," I tried to form words but I had nothing. "Yea we're never the first to arrive," Chelsea spoke up followed by an airhead Kyla. "I've never been in this house before..." comment wasn't a surprise. Kyla Woods was somewhat a slut with a capital SLUT. Carmen then came to save the day. "La fiesta es this way mi bonitas," She said and I just rolled my eyes and sighed. There was no way in hell we were coming back from this one. We walked into the kitched and all three of the girls took a seat on the bar stools. I spoke up. "Ok so everything's organic, the pretzel are fat free..." I was abruptly cut off by Spencer. "Are calling me fat?" She asked a glint of amusement in her eyes but the attitude was not hidden either. Fucking feisty. I know by all that is holy she was only doing it to make me sweat. I developed that deer in head lights look again. "What? no...fuck no that's not what I meant I was-" Spencer quirked her eyebrow at me and tilted her head in the cutest way. God it was so fucking adorable."What? No shes not calling you fat. Why would she say that? I mean she's not retarded." Carmen said saving my ass. "My younger brother's retarded." was all she said and the smile wiped completely off my face. Yes Glen was in fact a retard but I missed out on the part where she had a younger brother. I totally take back my awesome comment on Carmen saving my ass. Kyla and Chelsea were looking at me as if I were Satan's child for what Carmen said. Yeah if she were a guy I'd junk punch her in her man business right about now for that...she was only getting me deeper into the poo. They all looked at me expectantly, Spencer Kyla and Chelsea, and to be completely honest I couldn't fathom what the fuck to say to that. Carmen just vicariously insulted her kid brother.

There were about 20 seconds of odd, awkward silence into Chelsea started to break out into laughter. Me and Carmen followed along, laughing nervously but I was really filled with relief that her brother wasn't really retarded and that Carmen hadn't made an ass of us both. Oh but the evening is young and I'm pretty sure there is plenty of time for us to still do so. "That was cold, you probably don't even have a younger brother." Carmen said, her and I with slight smiles on our faces. "No, uh actually he died." Spencer said and Carmen and I busted up with laughter. Damn she was a jokester tonight. Carmen and I were still full blown laughing when we realized the seriousness of he face was not changing one bit. Oh and the look on Chelsea's face was making this situation a lot more serious. If the words what the fuck is wrong with you had an exact expression...it was Chelsea's face. We immediately stopped. I'm pretty sure that right in this moment we took the golden globe for biggest assholes in this universe. We were laughing at the fact that her brother died...that's some fucked up shit. "I-I am so sorry." I said feeling like a complete assmonkey for laughing at such a serious matter. Oh guilt you are truly my best friend. Spencer looked over at Kyla and Chelsea and then back at me. She produced a weak smile. "Its OK...it was a long time ago but thanks." God could I feel any worse. I feel compelled to let her write ASS in big, black, permanent marker across my forehead. Carmen wore the guilt of insincerity that I felt all over her face. Spencer's ring tone suddenly cut through the chocking awkward silence and she scrambled to retrieve it from her bag. I could only guess it was the ape man shit for brains she called her boyfriend. He could go fuck himself that's really all I have to say about that situation. Maybe I am being a little biased because I've been in love with her since before I even hit puberty but I really don't think I am because everyone knows hes a huge fucking cuntbag.

Spencer sighed heavily and answered the phone. "What the fuck do you want Aiden?" She said rather restlessly. Oh so she does find him as annoying as I do. Spencer took the call into another room and Kyla spoke up. "I need beer." I laughed at this. Of course she does. I don't think she can function properly without it in her system. Then she'd have no excuse for when people called her a slut. "Yeah you do." Carmen said with a laugh. She whispered to me, which really wasn't a whisper although she whole heartedly thought it was. "Donde esta la beer comesto?" Carmen asked and I was really starting to pray that she would stop using that horribly faked Spanish. She didn't speak one lick of it and to tell you the truth it sounded so retarded! I rolled my eyes at her but only because of the thoughts in my head that she needed to stop with the horrible Spanish. I spoke in an actual whisper. "My dad doesn't drink beer dude." I tried to say as quietly as I could but the eye roll I received from Chelsea told me that I was unsuccessful in that attempt. Carmen and I both turned around quickly. "We have champagne!" Carmen exclaimed and I smiled brightly at the two as Carmen retrieved it from the counter behind us. She pulled the bottle out of the chiller. "Hmm bubbly goodness...its uh...crystal. Its uh, Its uh the drink of the pimps." This would be the moment that I shook my head in full shame at her statement. Drink of the pimps? Well coming from her, it could have been worse. Chelsea was looking at us like we were seriously mentally handicapped. Like if Patrick fucking Star was a genius compared to us. She scoffed at Carmen's statement. "The pimps?" Chelsea asked and Carmen shook her head. "Mmhmm." She replied. "And what do you know about pimps?" Chelsea came back with and if I had telepathic powers I would tell Carmen to stop before she stepped into that trap with my mind. "Uhhh...nothing really." Yup and that's all she could say because really she didn't know shit about pimps. Know if she would have said being pimp handled then I could testify to that shit.

Carmen shut her trap and continued to pull the bottle of champagne out. "Hmm Crystal has seemed to change its logo...and spelling" Chelsea speculates and inside I'm rolling my eyes at her. "Champagne is fucking champagne. You can drink it or not bitches." OK no I didn't really say that but its totally what I was thinking. "I cant drink that. Champagne makes me do things..." You guessed it right that was a comment made by Kyla in the hopes that she was whispering it. She wasn't. People really need to fucking learn how to whisper. At that comment I was thinking, gurl please the change in weather makes you do things, the bell schedule from first block to second block makes you "do things." Kyla really was a funny character, thinking she could fool us and all. Carmen and I may have been invisible during high school but that doesn't mean we didn't hear the shit talked. Oh but of course I didn't need to say anything. "Girl water makes you do things." Kyla frowned at Chelsea. You nailed my thoughts Chelsea. I refrained from full out laughing at this oh but inside I was tearing up with laughter. "Not regular water!" Kyla came back with and I know within that moment my face held that 'are you seriously fucking kidding me right now, you did not just say that' expression. Chelsea just held up her hand to stop Kyla from further talking. She truly was a good friend. Carmen spilled her laughter. "I got-I got," She then giggled like a mad woman and took off to another room. What the fuck? She absolutely was the weirder one out of us two. I had no idea what the hell she was going to come back with and I wasn't about to go ask so I just stood there awkwardly in the presence of the airhead and Mrs. Attitude. I faintly heard rummaging and I wondered what the fuck Carmen could be doing.

Spencer then entered the kitchen again, still ranting to her glittered fairy turd of boyfriend. I could faintly hear the 'I told you' and 'No! I don't' and 'no you can't come here' I wasn't really paying attention as I was so busy trying to get the fucking wrap off the champagne bottle but I did hear the 'no you cant come here' part. Spencer better be telling him fear for your fucking useless life if you come here. I will go all Kevin McCalister from Home Alone on his ass. The odds of me wining in a physical fight against him were 1 out of 4 because, and lets face facts, I'm a girl and he's a steroid induced juice head. That is unless I kicked him in his baby nuts again. With that I would have a fair chance. As she was still ranting, Spencer walked over to me trying to untwist the top to the champagne. "I want some of that." She said as she put the phone to her shoulder. I nervously smiled up at her and nodded. Spencer returned my smile and then walked away, carrying on her useless banter with an individual that was clearly lacking in brains. I was twisting and twisting the top to the champagne and that sucker would not budge. I could hear Spencer gloating to Aiden about how she was drinking champagne but with the rate this was going no one was gonna get any because I couldn't get the bitch open. I twisted and twisted until I cut my damn hand open on the installed screwer. "Fucking Shit!" I yelled as blood sprayed everywhere. OK not everywhere but it gushed out like a motherfucker. I think I even whimpered at the pain...real pussy moment I have to admit. They all stared at me like I was crazy. Yes apparently getting cut the fuck up and bleeding everywhere was perfectly fine. "Its OK, I'm OK" I announced as I held my throbbing finger. I grabbed the dish towel that was already on the table and wrapped my hand up. "Pssh no big deal," I tried to play it off as Kyla and Chelsea seemed to still be staring at me. They both looked at each other with the same, and I know it was, thought: PUSSY.

Although the pain of my hand being slit open was gnawing at me I tried to still pull the top off. Spencer, who was still ranting with the assmonkey, put her phone to her shoulder and addressed me sweetly. "Yea, can you be a dear and hurry up with that champagne?" She asked and I swear the first thought that crossed my mind was BITCH! But I could never fully think those thoughts about her. I smiled. "Oh yea, sorry its just," I pulled, "the internal pressure is 90 pounds per square inch so I don't know what the problem is...," I trailed off as I pulled again and then vaguely wondered where the FUCK Carmen was. She should know better than to leave little 'ol me in the pit of lionesses alone. I pulled harder on the top but the bitch still was not budging. As I was sitting there, working this top, Spencer suddenly exclaimed. "Don't you DARE GPS me!" To tell you the truth it kind of scared me but that crap for brains better not show up here. At that very moment Carmen traipsed her ass back into the kitchen. The little inkling of speculation on what I thought she could be doing earlier was so terribly shattered."Party favors" She mouthed as she stood behind Spencer. I realized what she was holding in her hand. What is it, might you think? It is a long pack of magnum condoms, that's what the fuck it is and I look on at her with horror. With the surprise of it all, I tug at the bottle cap which pops off the champagne sending it into my fucking eye, which then led to me falling my skinny ass over backwards in my chair and eating shit on the tiled kitchen floor. Fuck me sideways! Today was NOT my day...

AN: So thanks for reading once again guys. I hope this chapter seemed longer than the last. I know that I've been kind of shitty with posting but hopefully that will change. I'm actually getting excited because the next chapter...well awesome funness will ensue! Lol Anyways I hope you all keep reading and bare with me through this...much love 3 Rate and Review!


	6. Attack!

AN: I hope you guys are still enjoying this story. I was kinda sad about the lack of reviews on the last post but that's ok I still love you guys lol well anyways here it is and Read, Rate, and Review =]

Well to say that I was beyond embarrassed was an understatement. As soon as I hit the floor I groaned and Kyla and Chelsea laughed. So glad they see this shit as funny. Spencer on the other hand immediately but her phone down and came over to me.

"Oh my God! Are you alright?" She asked, concern evident in her voice. Spencer hovered over me.

"Yeah I'm fine, totally great." I said still lying on my back while she was practically on top of me. Oh I was not complaining about it one bit.

"I need ice." Spencer said to Carmen and Carmen immediately went to the freezer to get some. Gosh I ached all over not to mention that cork hitting me in the fucking eye was going to leave a mark. Spencer watched Carmen as she frantically played with the melted ice water that had held the champagne. I swear I would not have that girl get anything for me if a person needed it and was dying. They were better off getting it themselves. Spencer was still hovering over me as she rolled her eyes at Carmen's sheer retardedness.

"Frozen peas!" She yelled, since clearly there was no more ice but Carmen couldn't comprehend that. Spencer picked up the spilled bottle of champagne. She then moved my hand from over my eye to examine it. I knew it was horrible. It felt horrible too, like someone took a bat ti my eye. Carmen was having trouble finding the peas as well. Spencer sighed.

"Just get anything cold." Was all she said as she gave Carmen a death glare. She pulled out a box of waffles.

"Here something cold." Spencer looked at her like she seriously lacked in brains but took the box of egos anyways. She pulled out an ego.

"Here, come here," She said as she placed the waffle over my eye. Just having her presence near me was soothing the pain already. I was oohin and owing as she firmly pressed the waffle but that immediately stopped when she straddled me to place it on there better. God this was heaven.

"God I'm sorry I'm so pathetic." I said and I felt I had every right to because someone needed to be apologized to for my patheticness. Spencer sighed but gave me a smile. Yes she was still straddling me.

"Look let me tell you something," She began "its alright we all have our days." Spencer said and I laughed.

"Yeah too bad my "days" are everyday." I replied and she laughed. Score one for Davies for making Spencer laugh.

"You're funny," was all she said as she pressed the cold waffles on my eye.

"How does that feel?" She asks and really I am in no way paying attention to the waffles on my eye feeling good but the feeling of her being on top of me. I look down at where she was straddling me and smiled.

"It feels good." I said with a smirk on my face and she cut her eyes at me playfully. I think she knew what I was implying by that smirk. I was not hiding anything. I wanted her and she has every right to know. Spencer got off of me, which I totally hated and went back over to Kyla and Chelsea. They were talking and giggling about something and I had no doubt in my mind that it was about me. I rolled off my back and got up off the floor, nearly slipping and falling on my ass again from the champagne that was all over the place. I joined Carmen on the other side of the counter. We both saw the condoms still sitting on the counter and so Carmen quickly grabbed them, both of us turning around and stuck them in her vest pocket. We turned back around and face the trinity all smiles. Carmen should have never brought condoms out in the first place. We weren't fooling anyone because Kyla snatched them out of her pocket.

"Ooh party balloons." She said like if she was a child finding candy.

"Um those aren't party balloons." Carmen spoke up and Kyla rolled her eyes.

"I know what they are, trust me." And I totally did. Kyla may be a slut but at least she was a protected slut. Getting pregnant would really put a cramp in her style.

"Those aren't mine, they're my dads." I blurted out. I really need to control what I say. At that comment Chelsea speaks up.

"Your dads not hiding in the closet is he?" What would posses her to ask that? Spencer's eyebrows were furrowed too. No he was not harboring gay tendencies and hooking up with guys, although I'm pretty sure having sex with my mother qualifies for that, he just didn't want anymore kids running around.

"Oh I hate that." Kyla commented as she played with one of the condoms she opened and it was my turn to look at her confused. She talks as if she's experienced it before. Knowing her, she probably has. Kyla then put the condom to her lips and blew it up like a balloon. Of course she would, I don't know why I expected anything more mature from her. As everyone watches her, Spencer lets out a sigh.

"Well this was fun." She says as she rises from her place at the barstool and Kyla and Chelsea follow suit. I could see her slipping through my hands and I could NOT allow that to happen.

"No come on stick around." I said, almost pleading for her to stay. She was quickly making her way to the door, Chelsea and Kyla in her wake.

"No you can't go." I said bordering on begging.

"Wait, wait...come on I mean we still got wine to drink. 23 bottles." I said trying desperately to get her to stay just a little bit longer.

"Aw wine makes me think of Jesus." I looked at Kyla and begged that the heavens would open up and strike her vocal chords so she wouldn't never be able to pollute the word with her stupidity ever again. Spencer waved her off.

"Look Ashley, we really do have to go. This was a great party though." She said patting me on the shoulder. Spencer then leaned in and I thought she was going for my lips. I would be the happiest person alive. But instead she grabbed my face and turned my head so she would get my cheek instead. I swear by god I was never washing this cheek again. Spencer smiled brightly at me once she finished planting one on me and in the faint distance I heard music. Like the kind of music you would hear during a sword fight between a pirate and zoro. I scrunched my eyebrows and wondered who in the fuck that could be. I guess Spencer heard it as well because she stopped in her tracks and developed this 'oh shit' look on her face. What douche bag did she know who listened to music like that? Then it dawned on me. Douche bag? My thoughts were confirmed.

"Oh shit, Aiden." Spencer said and my eyes went wide.

"He triangulated your cellphone." I said in wonder. Kyla started to giggle and broke between Spencer and I, making her way for the door. I went after her, Spencer following alone. She was not letting that jack hole into my house.

"We're gonna need more waffles." Carmen said and I rolled my eyes at her. See she never helps in any situation. I looked out the window and saw Aiden's hummer hurtling down the street. One he came to my house, instead of driving into the drive way like normal sane people, he drove up the curb and through my front lawn! Crushing my mothers flowers as he did so. Oh I was so dead on both accounts. My mother did not play about her lawn. Kyla opened the front door and Aiden and his little steroid binging buddies stepped out of the car. Oh no. Not good...not one bit.

"Hey, John you naughty boy," Kyla started, making cooing sounds and giggles. They waved at each other as the three came towards my door.

"No, no, no," I said. Like hell I was letting them in so I snatched Kyla out of the thresh hold and slammed the door with her back against it and locked it. They would definitely eat me alive if they got in here. I was still in front of Kyla with my hands on either side of the door in relief. She was looking at me like I was some kind of meat so I backed up. This girl would fuck anything that walked. Guy or girl.

"Alright, nobody move." I said, in a slight panic.

"Why?" Spencer asked and I looked at her like she was crazy.

"Because he is going to kill me that's why." I said like it was obvious and it was. Aiden Dennison was going to try to murder me on this very day but I was not about to let that happen. I knew eactly what I was going to do. I took 2 years of karate and I still had my old paint gun up stairs...the bitch was going down if he got up in here. After my statement Spencer rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Look he's not...going to do anything to you." She said but her slight lull in that statement did give me any reassurance. After the way he man handled me at graduation, I'm pretty sure in the confinements of my home, where no one could see, was no different.

"Spence! Spence, open this door!" I heard the ape yell from out side. I could see his angry face through the glass window beside my door. To put it this way, he looked like a wild animal. I looked at Carmen and her face held horror. I hope we make it out alive. Spencer rolled her eyes at his antics. I then thought about it.

"Windows! Secure the Windows!" I yelled and began running around the house locking every window and every door. Spencer, Kyla, Chelsea and even Carmen looked at me like I had gone mad.

"Is she always like this?" Chelsea asked Carmen and I internally rolled my eyes. I didn't think me getting beat up by this ape of a man was funny one bit and they all thought I was crazy for wanting to be safe. Carmen answered Chelsea's question.

"This is new behavior but...not surprising." She said as I made it to the window before steroid guy number two could open it and gain access. I put one of the dinning room chairs in from of the window to keep them out.

"Aw she's kind of cute." I heard Spencer say and I was not amused at all. Kyla and Chelsea then gave her a look.

"Well kinda," was all she said as I locked the last window. I then went back over to them, slightly out of breath. They looked at me like I was a looney. I then heard the squeak of a door. I slowly turned my head towards the kitchen. Shit! I forgot to lock the back door.

"Oh my god!" just as I rand to shut it, Aiden stuck his fat hand in the way blocking me and sending me back a couple steps. Yea I'm officially dead. Spencer then pushed me behind her.

"Don't be afraid I can handle this." Spencer said and I scoffed.

"I am not afraid. Why would you think I was afraid?" I asked trying to play it off. I guess my stint of running around like a chicken with my head cut off didn't help my 'I'm not afraid' statement much.

"Congratulations, you found me." Spencer said to Aiden and I rolled my eyes. Get this ass out of my house! I thought.

"Interesting situation we have here," Aiden said and I nearly laughed. He probably didn't even know the definition of interesting, let alone how to spell it or use it in a sentence structure properly. Aiden sniffed loudly and I saw the frown on Spencer's face.

"Have you been doing coke?" She asked and my eyes went wide. He does drugs? Of course he does. Why not? He doesn't have brain cells to worry about so its safe for him to do drugs.

"Not now Spencer," Was all he said as he pushed her aside.

"He's cocked up?" I tried to whisper to Spencer.

"That is not one of the good drugs." Kyla interjected. Seriously? What was one of the good drugs? I swear the girl never thought before she opened that mouth of hers. Aiden and his goons walked further into my house, inspecting it as so to speak. Aiden then picked up my mothers antique vase and threw it at the wall. Fucking DICKWAD! Oh my mother was going to have a field day.

"Hey you fucking asshole! Aunt Brenda gave us that!" I yelled. I highly doubt he really cared who gave us the vase but I was pissed. Aiden picked up the champagne bottle and pointed at me.

"Prepare to die." was all he said. What was he? The fucking avenger? I think not. Carmen then came to my side.

"Alright that's enough out of you dipshit. Why don't you take your merry band of asshats and get the fuck out of here." I looked at Carmen with wide eyes. Yes I didn't like Aiden as well as the next sane person but now he was going to kill us even faster because of what she said. All of a sudden that damn wine bottle came flying at our heads. Carmen and I moved at the perfect time and it flew into the glass dish cupboard, breaking it. Holy fucking shit!


	7. Will Not Take It

Spencer, Kyla and Chelsea screamed and the rest of the wine bottles followed as Carmen and I coward, covering our heads, on the kitchen floor. Aiden was fucking crazy as fuck! I had one goal now and that was to take his ass out. After they finished with breaking what I believe was every single wine bottle, Carmen and I got up.

"Alright now this is willful damage to property you ass monkey! That's a legal term!" I screamed as he held the microwave, pulling the plug out of the socket. Before I knew it, this crazy motherfucker tossed the microwave and Carmen and I ducked. That shit lodged into the wall. Who the fuck throws a microwave at someone? There were more screams from the trinity.

"Go!" I yelled to Carmen and we took off towards the stairs. I was not about to let Aiden take me out. Carmen and I ran up the stairs as if our lives depended on it and in all reality, our lives did depend on it.

"Ashley have you ever seen any of the Friday the thirteenth movies. You run upstairs you die!" Carmen exclaimed but I didn't have time to listen to her retarded movie comparisons. I could hear Aiden's footsteps pitter pattering not too far behind us as we made it to my bedroom, slammed the door, and locked it.

"Weapon! We need a weapon." I said to Carmen and we started to look around the room for something useful. Carmen started rummaging through my closet, knocking down board games on her head and shit. I searched my room for my bee bee gun or my paint ball gun. I was not finding either. All of a sudden shit for brains started banging on the door. Fuck! I was throwing clothes, shoes, and other shit around but still wasn't getting any closer to finding either one. Finally, and as Aiden began to band harder on the door, I check under my bed and found my lovely 9mm air-soft paint gun, fully loaded from me and my dads trip to the paintball arena last weekend. SUCCESS!

"Found it!" I exclaimed as Carmen was still trying to put back the board games she knocked down.

"Found what?" She asked and I held up the gun. She smiled devilishly. Aiden was getting closer to breaking the door down. So Carmen hid in the closet, and with my weapon, I hid just by the door where he couldn't see me. Finally the door gave and assmonkey showed his face. I saw him look around my room at my star wars posters and my many band posters and finally up at the huge ass stalker poster I had of Spencer in her cheer leading uniform above my bed. It was completely normal and you can't tell me any different. I saw the twitch in his eye as he turned his head to get a better look. I finally showed myself.

"Alright fucktard put you hands where I can see them." I said as I pointed my gun at him. I think he thought it was a real gun because a flash of horror came across his face but was quickly replaced with anger. Aiden slowly raised his hands and I developed a smirk on my face. I wasn't going to shoot him unless I had to. Although I should for him throwing that goddamn wine bottle at me and Carmen's head. That could have done some serious damage...crazy motherfucker.

"What are you gonna do? Shoot me?" Aiden asked laughing. I raised my eyebrows.

"Maybe." I simply replied and made a potion as if I was going to pull the trigger. The punk flinched and backed up, running into my skeleton Dr. Macoy. Yes I have a skeleton in my room and I got him from this anatomy convention that I attended. It was really rather interesting.

"I do know how to use this thing. Took two years of training and I'm not afraid to blow your ass to smithereens." I said with a smile on my face. Oh, if only that were possible. Aiden glared at me and then all of a sudden he ripped the arms off of my skeleton. I gasped.

"Dr. Macoy!" Oh no the bitch was going down now. No one and I mean NO ONE touches the skeleton. Aiden armed himself with the arms and began to spin them like they were fucking nun-chucks. I backed up immediately lest he hit me in the eye with those damn things. I knew if I let him land a hit it was going to hurt like a bitch so I kept dodging and weaving his throws of Dr. Macoy's arms. Although my bobbing and weaving was exceptional the douchetard clipped my leg and I let out a yelp. I'd be damned if I let him do that shit again. He came at me once more and I rolled across my bed to the other side. This fool then leaps on to my bed and starts swinging the bones as if there was no tomorrow. I was totally going to laugh my ass off if he hit his own fucking self with them. Aiden was making weird ninja noises and to tell you the truth he was a lame ass sham of an excuse for a ninja if I do say so myself.

As he was swinging the bones wildly, Carmen busted out of the closet to the scene. Her eyes went wide and her mouth was hanging open. She started looking around frantically for an escape. I swear I am never relying on her to have my back for anything. Carmen them started crawling from the closet to the window. Once she got to the window she pushed open the glass and jumped out. WHAT THE FUCK! I could not believe she just jumped. It was two fucking stories! While I was baffled at Carmen's asinine escape route Aiden's dumb as was still playing merry-go-round with those damn bones. I had had enough of this so I raised my paintball gun ans shit him in his junk. The bitch went down like a sack of potatoes. He was oohing and ahhing and I shot him again just for good measure. Just as I was about to see what happened to Carmen, Spencer came hurdling into the room.

"Ashley! You got to get out of here! Aiden's guys are on their way up here!" She exclaimed and I thought it was so fucking cute that she was worried about me. I was still standing there.

"GO!" She yelled again so I ran over to the window. It was the only way I could escape now since the other two twinkle toes were probably on their way up the stairs. Once I poked my head out the window I called out for Carmen.

"Carm," I called. I got a whimper but then she finally spoke up.

"Yeah I'm down here. I'm good." She said as I inched my way onto the roof. This so was not safe and if I died because some goonbauh fucks decided to raid my house I was seriously going to haunt their asses for the rest of their pathetic lives. I stumbled and fell on my ass and I let out a yelp.

"You ok?" Carmen asked and I shook my head.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good. I'm coming." I replied as I inched closer to the edge. I looked over the edge of the roof to see Carmen hanging on the gutter line. I rolled my eyes.

"Carmen what the fuck are you doing?" I asked.

"I think I made a terrible decision." I shook my head. Terrible? Not the first thing to come to mind. Fucking insane as fuck? Yeah I think that fit rather nicely.

"Carmen! At which point did you think that jumping out of a two story window was a good decision?" I asked seriously wanting to know the answer to that question because it was beyond my reasoning.

"Yeah, Yeah I-I_I don-" Carmen was cut off by the sound of the gutter lining coming unloose. My eyes went wide and so did hers.

"Oh Shit." Before I could say anything the gutter gave way and down went Carmen, the grass breaking her fall. Or her ass which ever you see fit.

"Carmen!" I yelled as she lay on the ground. Then all of a sudden someone called my name in sing-song. Oh fuck! I turned my head slowly and saw the assmuncher himself in my window with my poly-carbon star wars light saber in his hand and a big smile on his dumb looking face. Before I could move scream or throw something at hiss ass he poked me with it and over the roof I went. I landed in the rose bushes with a thud. Yeah that's gonna leave a bruise. I didn't waste any time getting up though seeing as there were a thousand and one thorns in my ass and my face. I am going to rip his balls off and put them in his fucking eye sockets!

"Ahh, Ahh," I pulled the two thorns that were lodged in my face out and then the few that were in my ass. I then crawled my way over to Carmen as she just laid there on the grass. If I were her I wouldnt be moving either.

"Are you alright?" I asked ans she let out a cross between a whimper and a gurgle.

"I'm paralyzed. I'm a paralyzed virgin." was all she said and I rolled my eyes. I f she was talking like this I knew she was fine.

"You'll be ok." I said as I grabbed her arm and began to pull her as I crawled away."

"Paraplegics can have sex I saw a documentary on it once on public television." I said trying to calm her fears about her being a paralyzed virgin.

"Come on let's go," I said as we both decided that we would get away faster if we stopped crawling and used out legs. First we crawl-ran until we reached the gate and we leaped over it. Well we fell over it more like it. As Carmen and I popped our heads over the gate we saw Aiden standing on the roof. He then let out a bark.

"Shaun, Dustin, COME ON!" He said and Carmen and I looked at each other then back at Aiden. All of a sudden Tweedledee and Tweedledum were at the ass goblins side.

"Go! Go!" Aiden yelled and the two of then pranced to the other side of the roof, slid down it ever so graceful; Aiden joining them and then all three of them leaped off, landing perfectly on the lawn. Now why couldn't Carmen and I do that. Carmen them spoke up.

"They're like cyborgs!" She whispered to me and I highly agreed. They were like anamatronic robots with shit for brains. I really gotta get me one of those. Without wasting time I took off towards the front of my house. I rounded the corner of my house and realized that Carmen wasn't with me.

"Carmen!" I yelled as I kept running through my front yard.

"Carmen!" I yelled once again, thinking the bastards had got her. As I hit the street I called out for her once more. I then looked at the street and Spencer's car came hurdling at me. That's it I was dead. The love of my life was going to kill me with her sweet ass car. My eyes went wide and she screeched on the breaks and I flung my self out of the way, hitting the concrete harder than a motherfucker and rolling out of the way. I may be bruised as fuck and maybe broken but at least I was still alive and to me that was a plus. Immediately, though, Spencer, Kyla and Chelsea got out of her car and came running over to me.

"Why would did you do that!" Spencer yelled at me as if it was my fault she drives like a bat out of hell. I was groaning on the ground because my whole being hurt. To say I was a little dazed from the hit would be an understatement.

"I thought you were smart!" She yelled again as she grabbed my arm and helped me off up off the ground. I replied to her previous question.

"I was smart." I said dazed and barely able to walk on my own, so Spencer held me up.

"Get her in the car." Spencer said as she handed me over to Chelsea, who helped me into the front seat. My head was swimming and the urge to throw up was rising and rising rapidly.

"Are you OK?" Chelsea asked as her and Spencer got back in the car. That was a really dumb question on her part. Spencer started the car and put it in reverse. I couldn't leave Carmen here. Not with those mentally unstable psycho paths!

"Wait Carmen!" I said and as soon as I did she came running from the back of my house. Carmen then jumped in the car followed by a Chelsea and the door slamming. The boob and his two ass clowns came running at a full pace towards the car. Everyone in the car was screaming as Spencer backed up and Aiden slammed on the hood of the car, trying to get her to stop. She wasn't.

"Stop the Car!" He yelled as Spencer pressed on the gas driving forward, with him still trying to stop the car. He was more likely to be a hood ornament then stop the car. Some people are just too dumb for their own good. Aiden finally moved from in front of the car, lest he get ran over which would have been a plus, and Spencer took off down the street, with the three animals chasing after the car like rabid dogs. Spencer then stuck her head out of the window.

"Call me when you're sober!" She screamed and then zoomed away from them, leaving the herpes harvesters in her dust. I was laughing my ass off at the whole scene but truly inside I was filled with relief because I got to live a few more hours...Yay me!

**AN: Hey Guys! Totally sorry I took me forever to update on this story but I hope you guys are still reading. Gosh some of the reviews for the last chapter made me laugh my pants off! I really appreciate them and I'm glad you guys are liking my version of the movie I am seriously having fun re-writing it. Anyways, thanks again and Rate and Review! =]**


	8. There Is A God

**AN: So to say its been forever is an understatement. Its been CENTURIES! But I still hope you guys are interested in reading. I thought, in honor of my B-day today I would continue to actually finish this story lol I hope you guys enjoy it and Please, please, please R and R it would be the loveliest birthday present ever...ok a car and a million dollars would be but R&R is up there! Xoxox Enjoy!**

To say that I felt like the walking dead was an understatement. Today's events were...fucking horrible. I mean if you would have told me yesterday that I was going to spend the whole day with Spencer Carlin, be attacked by a psychotic anal butt nugget and his merry band of shitsacks, and almost taken out by a car well I would have laughed in your face. Carmen and I were currently in Spencer's car with Kyla and Chelsea heading to god knows where. The aches and pains all over my body ached and pained and I so badly wanted drugs. Prescription drugs help everything. I cracked my neck to relieve myself of the gigantic knot the size of a guinea pig that was in it. I sighed in relief and Spencer spoke up.

"Are you okay?" She asked with a tone that was a cross between concern but exasperation. Like a mother would do to a helpless child. I shook my head in the positive, trying to act like I wasn't almost dead.

"Yeah no I'm f-" before I could even finish that lie I was stopped mid sentence by Kyla sticking her fucking finger in my ear. She knew no boundaries. I frowned and smacked her hand away.

"No blood," She said and produced a big smile on her face. Seriously? Kyla never stopped amazing me with the stupidity she possessed. I shook my head and continued to ride in silence. Spencer was swerving through lanes and cutting off cars and I wondering in my head who the hell gave this girl a license to drive. Yes, I loved her but she could not drive to save her life...or anyone else's for that matter. Horns were honking and a blue minivan nearly clipped us. I stirred in my seat uneasily. I was not ready to die after I had beaten death twice already today. I looked over towards Spencer and she produced the cutest little face of frustration as she was weaving in and out of lanes. Well it would have been cute if I weren't fearing for my life.

"Uh we got away, so you can, you can stop escaping now...if you want to" I said clutching my seat belt as she took the red light.

"She always drives like this." Chelsea said and I looked back at her uneasily. Well if she always drives like this and they're not dead yet maybe I wouldn't die either...but I didn't have the best of luck in the world so I don't think that counts for me. I looked over at Carmen to see if she was okay.

"I was in driver's ed with her." Carmen said with a look of horror and nostalgia on her face. In that crazy little head of hers she was probably re-living that dreadful day she was stuck with Spencer in driver's ed. I remember a while back her telling me that story. The horror was evident on her face then. She said it was a fiasco of sorts that involved Spencer running over traffic cones, busting through the parking lot gate of the drivers ed course and nearly getting everyone in the car pummeled by a bus.

"I'm like the least notable person in this car. Wh-hen we all die from Blondie's fucked up driving I'll be referred to as fifth student." Carmen said and I nearly chocked on my laughter. It was sad but highly true.

"So Spencer...I uh, I just wanna say thanks for rescuing me back there after you almost killed me with your car...that was uh pretty cool." I started and with one hand on the wheel, Spencer looked over at me. Ok I admit that was a little stupid. Ok no a lot of stupid but she spoke up anyways.

"Ok noooo, you ran into my car and I'm not rescuing you. Aiden is heavily medicated-" Yea on stupidity and a little drug we like to call cocaine.

"-Right now on cocaine, speed, roid rage and he cannot have another incident. He'll get court marshaled for sure." Spencer finished and my eyes were set on WHAT THE FUCK wide.

"Yeah, ok sure...do you happen to remember what his last incident was?" I asked so I could better prepare myself. I had to know whether I could fight this fate of death that was upon my poor little head or simply go with it and face my doom. It was kind of poetic in a way. I confessed my love for Spencer and now have to fight to live. Shakespeare has nothing on my story line.

Before Spencer could answer my question, we got stuck behind a red slug bug and not wanting to wait Spencer jerked the steering wheel, swerving into the on coming traffic lane to go around it all the while screaming obscenities at the "stupid drivers." The sounds that were coming from my mouth out of sheer horror were more than embarrassing but very appropriate for this situation. My life has flashed before my eyes TOO many times tonight. After the 100th near death experience of tonight and the angry drivers honking their horns, we were back to sensible driving. Well sensible driving for Spencer land. I let out a deep breath and told myself "You are going to live today."

"Hey Spence, can I borrow your cellphone? I left mine back at the house." I said. When one is escaping for their lives, grabbing their cellphone completely evades your mind. Plus, I thought it high time I called the rents and tried to explain world war three that took place in their kitchen. Oh boy was I never going to see the outdoors again. The damage to my moms front lawn alone was reason enough to keep me caged in, in my room until the sun turned black. I mean seriously, my parents are crazy enough to allow me not to go to college due to forced groundation. Oh lovely summer how I will miss thee. Spencer handed over her cellphone, which made me kinda of jumpy because it required only one of her hands on the wheel and that was **death**trimental.

"Thanks." I said as slid the bar on her iphone and began to dial my parents' number. The phone just rang and rang and you know what? Secretly I was hoping no one would pick up so all the yelling could be saved for one time only. It rang one last time before it went to voice mail.

"Hey mom, dad-" I was cut off by Carmen, Kyla and Chelsea all saying hi to my mom. Case for not getting skinned alive: Not going to look so good.

"Ah yea that was just uh Carm and uh we're ok and I can explain the kitchen later." I said thinking back on the broken glass cupboard, broken wine bottles, and microwave lodged into the wall. Really, I say it again: WHO THE FUCK THROWS A MICROWAVE?

"Anyways if you need to reach me you can reach me at-" I then realized I didn't have Spencer's number so I removed the phone from my ear, covering the speaker so we wouldn't be heard.

"Uh Spence, can I get your cellphone number?" I asked and all of a sudden her eyes grew wide and frantic.

"Shit, my cellphone!" Spencer then rolled down her window, grabbed the phone from my hands and tossed it out of the window! I swear the girl has a major case of the crazies!

"What the fuck was that for?" I asked, bewildered at her actions.

"Aiden, he's probably tracking my phone. GPS that asshole!" Spencer yelled. She then went into a fit of laughter, Chelsea and Kyla joining in. I looked around at all of them really believing they were crazy and just laughed nervously. Carmen gave me a look that said "What the fuck have you gotten us into" and to be truthful...I have no idea. But truly this whole thing **was** her fault. If it wasn't for her I would have never given that graduation speech and we wouldn't be on the lamb for survival. Spencer then turned on the radio.

"I rebuke you in the name of Jesus." Yes that is what just came flowing from the radio. The little traces of laughter were immediately cut off and an awkward silence ensued.

"Ugh radio suuucks." Spencer said and Carmen laughed while I agreed. Most of the songs on the radio were either played out or totally LAME.

"Uh actually why don't you tune it to 87.1. I made a little commencement mix for the party that I think all of you would enjoy." I said as I retrieved my Ipod from my front pocket. I may not have my cellphone but I most definitely have my music.

"DJ A's slammin' graduation, WHAAA!" Carmen said from the back seat and I busted out in laughter. Ahh the things that flow from that girls mouth. I hooked my Ipod up to Spencer's radio and pressed play on my play-list. Immediately Alice Cooper's Schools Out flowed through the car. Everyone in the car began nodding their head to the beat and I was impressed. They were the type of girls that still listened to N*sync and the backstreet boys, who belted out Taylor swift in their showers. To know that they even had a clue who Alice Cooper was surprised me.

"Well we got no choice, all the girls and the boys..." Spencer began singing the lyrics and pretty soon Carmen, Kyla, Chelsea and myself joined in with the singing. Ever so often I would glance over at Spencer while we were all rocking out and god if she didn't look fucking beautiful! I knew there was a reason I liked her. She's so unpredictable and crazy, not to mention hotter than the sun itself. A California 25 if I do say so myself.

"I love this song! Who wouldn't want to blow up their school?" Kyla said and everyone laughed. Despite the blondness that was written all over that statement, it was true. There was a many a times I wanted to blow King High to smithereens. Finally though, after the rocking out and the god knows how long of driving, we pulled into a gas station. No actually we swerved/almost crashed into a gas station. I swear there was one point where I thought Spencer was going to plow into a gas pump dispenser. Spencer came to an abrupt stop and before I could help myself my face just so happened to land in her lap with the force of the stop.

"Crack her like a walnut." Chelsea said as she rose from the back seat. What? It wasn't my fault it was her horrible driving skills...or lack there of. I guess it was my reward for all my trouble today because I turned my head and her underwear read hello. Oh hello there to you as well.

"Hello..." I said and before I knew it she grabbed a hand full of my hair and pulled me away from my new best friend.

"Sorry." I said not sorry at all in all reality but it was the polite thing to do. Spencer gave me a smile, put the car in park and opened her door.

"Let's get some beer..." She said and was gone. It times like these that I know there is a god out there somewhere...


	9. She's No Spencer Carlin

I followed suit and exited the car as well, right on her heels. When we got in the store, we immediately headed for the freezer section. I didn't really drink beer, I mean ever because well for one it tastes like what I would imagine piss to taste like and two I think it taste like piss. The silence was boring me so I spoke up.

"I think I was knocked out back there momentarily. I mean because I definitely wasn't look-looking," I stopped while I was ahead because Spencer was giving me this yeah fucking right look and she had every right to be. Then she developed this look of disgust and this made me really uneasy.

"Yuck," she blurted out. The fuck?

"What? What is it?" I asked thinking there was something on my face.

"Maybe we should get you some band-aids or cream or something-" I then realized she was talking about the travesty of my pummeled face and cut her off.

"Oh no no I'm, I'm-" I was then sidetracked by those fucking gorgeous eyes.

"Wow" I whispered.

"You're eyes aren't just blue..." I said and she looked at me confused.

"What? My eyes?" She asked terribly puzzled and I shook my head. I leaned in closer.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah there's like some green in there and in the pupil there's like this crazy star-burst of turquoise..." I said pointing at it. She smiled shyly at me and I beamed at her.

"Uh yeah, my grandma use to call them a real dogs breakfast." Spencer said, still smiling.

"Lucky dog." I replied. I admit it was lame but I can't help it. I possess no ability to form cool or witty sentences around her. Everything that comes out of my mouth is either corny as fuck or just plain idiotic. We stood there for a moment just trading goofy smiles until she cleared her throat and spoke up.

"So what kind of beer do you like?" Spencer asked and I made a face.

"I don't drink beer. It taste like piss." I said and she laughed at that opening the freezer and grabbing a case of dos equis. Eh I guess that could do. It didn't taste too bad but I was more of a Smirnoff person myself. We then ventured around the store grabbing all kinds of junk food.

"Chips, chips, chips..." I sang to myself while Spencer grabbed more bags of chips and placed them in my already full arms.

"You got it?" Spencer asked and I shook my head. She then pulled a box of Susie Q's off the shelf.

"Suzie Q's...yum." She said and I smiled.

"My mom says yum." I said and Spencer just looked over at me. She then developed this come fuck me face and said yum in the sexiest fucking voice I ever heard. My jaw dropped and I know she saw it. I swear I came on spot in that fucking store. Like seriously? She fucking with my libido on a most personal level. My mother definitely does NOT say yum like that and that god or else it would be a fucking disastrous crime! Insert shiver here.

"Not like that..." I trailed off oh so bad images of Spencer floating through my perverted mind. Spencer then rolled her eyes, smirk in place, and put the box of Susie Q's on the rest of the junk that was in my arms.

"Got it?" She asked again. What did she think I was weakling or something.

"Yea I-uh I got it." I said, still flustered from the incident two seconds ago. When then proceeded to the check out.

"Hi," Spencer said to the check out girl. I'll have to admit she was pretty salty.

"Hey," she said back and for the simple fact that her eyes never left my beauty's breast was reason enough for me to want to stomp on her face.

"How are you?" Spencer asked and the cunt developed this devious smirk.

"Real good," she replied with too much emphasis and I glared at her. A bag of chips fell from the pile so I picked it up but the glaring was still in full swing. Man how I HATE this girl and why is Spencer flirting with her! Spencer was all smile and I HATED that too. The clerk looked over at me and frowned. She then spoke up.

"Uh what's up with your friend?" She asked Spencer as if I weren't standing next to her and had ears. Fucking idiot. Before Spencer could even speak up I opened my mouth.

"How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up and ring up our items hmm?" I asked and the girl frowned. Spencer looked over at me in shock. What? She barking up my fucking tree. She continued to ring up our items but then decided that she wanted to speak up again. Some people just don't get the message.

"What happened to your face?" She asked and I rolled my eyes but before I could make any smart comment Spencer ran her fingers through my hair as if to comfort me.

"Dad beats her." She said in this "aww someone killed my puppy" voice. The check out girl made a face.

"Sorry I asked." She remarked, continuing to ring up our items. She then saw the beer and laughed.

"I'm gonna need to see some ID." She said. Hmm maybe that shut the hell up comment wasn't so smart after all huh? Spencer hesitated for a moment.

"Of course." She said opening her wallet and pulling out her ID. Spencer handed her the ID and she looked at it then her.

"Wow Patricia, you've lost weight. And you certainly don't look 37." The look on her face said she was not buying it one bit.

"Well thank you." Spencer said, trying to act flattered. She nodded her head.

"Well that's $15.42...without the beer." Bitch.

"Aww come on its graduation night!" Spencer said producing the sexiest little pouty face in this universe. There was no way, gay or straight, she was saying no to that.

"Oh well...congratulations." She said and I rolled my eyes.

"Come one dick, just this once." I said and she shook her head.

"Sam." Spencer said reading her name tag. I didn't like where this was going. Not one fucking bit at all.

"You look like a cool person Sam. Come on...be cool." Spencer said, sexy little smirk in place. No. Oh no. Sam scoffed.

"Look I could lose my shitty job." Sam said and I looked over at Spencer perfectly fine with forgetting the beer and getting the fuck out of here.

"How about I kiss you so hard, every time you think about it...you'll have to change your underwear." Was all Spencer said and I swear for the second...OK like fifth time tonight my jaw dropped. I'm gonna need to change my underwear. But cumming on spot aside...No she cant kiss her! This is horrible have some morals and say no SAM...JUST SAY NO! Oh but the look on her face said that she was most definitely going to say yes and I think my heart dropped a little. Ok a lot.

"Deal." Sam said and before I could even register it she was swopping spit with her. It was repulsive and definitely not the Spencer that imagined. After what seemed like an eternity of them trading std's she bagged our items including the beer and we exited the store. When we got to the car Kyla and Chelsea were sitting on the hood of it and Carmen was still in the back seat. She exited the car.

"We got beer!" Spencer exclaimed and the other two girls squealed in delight. Now I really fucking hate beer. Fuck you beer just fucking fuck you to hell.

"Well that was...weird. What you did...in there...to her." I said no longer being able to keep my mouth shut about it.

"What happened?" Chelsea asked as we all got in the car.

"Nothing. I just sucked her face for two seconds." Spencer replied like it was no big deal. Like if it was as logical as doing your goddamn laundry. Carmen gave me a "Whoa" look and I rolled my eyes. I was no longer in a drinking mood. I was not a happy camper. Right now, I really didn't care if Aiden found me and killed me.

"Wait you sucked her face?" Carmen so lovely asked. I did not want to hear her talk about it. It was horror enough having to see her do it. In front of my face.

"Purel me." Was all she said as if it was natural routine. They even had hand sanitizer ready for the occasion. Oh this is just horrible.

"Wow that was such a sacrifice...I couldn't have done it. I mean before drinking the beer." Kyla piped up and I scoffed as I was so unfortunately sat next to her now. The fuck she couldn't. I just looked at her like yea fucking right and rolled my eyes. I was highly sure that she would fuck any thing that moved. It was quiet for a bit but Carmen spoke up.

"I'd do two seconds." She said and I whipped my head around to look at her. See I told you folks I know a gay when I see one. I mean everyone knows that Spencer is bisexual...what's her excuse? I gave her that "I told you face." Everyone turned and looked at her with puzzled faces.

"What? It isn't gay. It isn't gay." Carmen said shaking her head, trying to convince herself more than us. It was to gay.

"It's not gay, it's within the three second rule." She said trying to prove her point but was NOWHERE near that. It only made me think what the fuck?

"That's for food that's dropped on the floor." Chelsea said with a amazed look on her face and I looked over to Carmen and just gave her the stop while your ahead look.

"Yeah, uh whatever." Carmen said with finality and both Chelsea and Spencer chuckled. I wasn't in the chuckling mood though. I was in the 'Fuck this I wanna go home' mood.

"She's not Spencer Carlin." I said absent mindedly to myself and truth be told she wasn't. She was far from the Spencer Carlin I imagined. The Spencer Carlin I imagined was sweet and funny, and although she was popular, secretly a dork. She would NEVER make out with some random store clerk chick to get beer. I guess the operative word here is imagined. I made her out to be something she's not and I guess that's my own fault. I sighed and really didn't feel like being here at all. I wanted to go back to my destroyed house, go to my room, curl up on my bed and let my world crash around me in peace.

**AN: Well I hope you guys are enjoying the story...although I wish I did have more reviews lol Anyways I pray you guys are still reading! And to ****nwlifenwworld123****thanks for the birthday wishes 3 and I'm glad your liking the story also happy belated birthday to you too! Hope it was good! =D Anyways R&R and let me know what you guys are thinking! 3**


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